I can be a very emotional person.  While my emotions run deep, I am very good at hiding them, something I learned to do in my youth.  This has not always served me well, but it is how I am.  What this means is that my emotions do not often surface, but when they do, they usually manifest themselves strongly.

As an example, last Saturday I took my wife and four youngest children to the movies.  We saw "The Croods".  Its an animated story about a family of cavemen who stay in their cave all the time, except for the occasional trip outside to gather food.  The dad's main focus is keeping the family safe, and he does that by teaching his family to be afraid of everything, to never try anything different, and to stay in the cave.  His family consists of himself, his wife, his mother-in-law, an older teenage daughter, a younger teenage son, and a two year old baby.  The plot consists of the family having to leave their cave because of a natural disaster, and the growing up of the older daughter as she leaves the cave without permission, and meets a young man who is traveling alone, away from the natural disasters that are coming.

The reason I am talking about this movie is because of the relationship between the father and the daughter.  The daughter is old enough to leave home and to strike out on her own (with a boy, no less!)  The father is unprepared for this, and fights to keep everything the way it has always been.  He has the need to protect, but he also wants to maintain the status quo.  He and his daughter eventually work through this, and the movie ends on a happy note.

While this isn't an exact parallel to my current position in life, I found myself sobbing for the entire second half of the movie.  I have known for months now that my oldest daughter, Erin, will be leaving home for college in August.  We have been through graduations, campus tours, buying a toaster, opening bank accounts, and all the other preparations for her to leave home.  These events have been affecting me, but I have kept the emotions inside, wanting to maintain the status quo.  My denial was working perfectly until I went to that dumb movie. It felt like the lid had suddenly been taken off of a bottle of soda pop that had been shaken hard first.  There was an initial explosion, then it just kept coming.  I found myself still crying occasionally three hours after the movie ended.  It was completely unexpected.

As I have reflected on this, I am glad that my emotions were so strong.  I would worry if they were otherwise.  I will miss her.  I will miss the way things have been, but I look forward to the way things will be.   I could not and would not deny her the happiness and growth that will come to her in her life, notwithstanding the pain and sorrow that will surely come as well.  Such is the plan for our salvation.  I would like to think I am coming to understand a little bit how our Heavenly Father must feel as He sends his children away from home to experience new things.  It hurts Him, knowing what's coming, but He would not deny us the experience.  He will help us along the way, and be waiting for us with open arms when we make it back.

I love her, and I will do the same to help her when she needs it.  May God bless her in her life as she moves forward.

Mothers

As I was sitting down to write a Mother's day card yesterday, I was suddenly "visited by the muses", or as we would say in the church, touched by the Spirit, and I began to write.  I ended up with a Mother's day poem that grew out of my own life's experiences, living with and observing my wife for twenty years, and some very difficult challenges that we have had lately.  It is a tender mercy of the Lord to us, and it has  strengthened us and touched our hearts.  May it do the same for others.

What is a mother?

A mother is a woman, who,

Creates bodies for God's children,

And carries His spirits to this earth,

She the only path from there to here.

A partnership in creating life,

A gift, from Him to His daughters.

She is then entrusted

To raise them as her own.

Pain, Sorrow, and Disappointment

Are her frequent companions, but

The gifts of Faith, Hope, and Charity

Are her Heavenly helpers.

He alone understands the depth of her Sorrow,

Or the fullness of her Joy,

And because of her willing Sacrifice,

He will give her the great desire of her heart:

Her children in righteousness,

And her family in eternity.

Amen.

The Bible plus: The four books of Mormonism | The Christian Century

The Bible plus: The four books of Mormonism | The Christian Century

It is an interesting article

Last Christmas we purchased a trampoline for the family.  The kids love to play on it, or sleep out on it, but I rarely use it myself.  One night, however, I was on it playing around with my kids.  Somehow there were pillows on the tramp, leftover, I think, from sleeping out the night before.  The kids started having a pillow fight, when suddenly I heard a ripping sound and saw some feathers floating around the trampoline.  The kids looked at me expectantly, wondering what my reaction would be.  I think ten years ago I probably would have become angry, but I guess I'm mellowing in my old age, because I reached down, took a handful of feathers, and threw them in Erin's face. 

Well, you can imagine what that started:



There are a lot of feathers in one pillow! Who knew?

If you are planning on doing this for family home evening, here are a few pointers to remember:

• You can't breathe once you suck in a mouthful of synthetic feathers
• Feathers adhere to EVERYTHING!
• It takes at least three washes to get feathers out of long, naturally-curly hair (Erin is still finding feathers next to her scalp).
• Neighbors don't appreciate the wet-dry vac going full blast at 10:30 pm.
• The laundromat is an excellent place to wash and dry a batch of feather covered clothes.

My wife didnt want to participate in this family function, so I just asked her to come take some pictures...(evil grin!).  As she was taking pictures, I tried to jump through the tramp screen opening, slipped on the feathers, bounced off the springs, hit the ground rolling, and came up and grabbed Jen as she was trying to get back to the house.  She was a good sport as everyone put feathers down her back.

Sorry, Erin-of-the-naturally-curly-hair!

Curly hair strikes again.



This is the part where he couldn't breathe!

This was a spontaneous, fun, family moment.  Everyone was a good sport and we had a lot of fun!

9/11

During the last week I have been very aware of the tenth anniversary of 9/11.  I began to remember the thoughts and feelings that I had when it happened.  Like most of us who were around on that day, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard what was happening. I was attending Southern Utah University at the time, and working at a manufacturing plant out by the airport in Cedar City.  A co-worker ran into the room and said "Someone just flew an airplane into a skyscraper in New York!"  I had to stay in the room working, but he brought in regular updates.  All planes still in the air were required to land.  I could see the Cedar City airport just across the field from the back of the plant, and I remember large passenger jets landing and sitting on the runway all day long.

When the towers fell, and it became more apparent what had happened, I remember feeling as though time had stopped.  In retrospect, it was not so much that time had stopped as it was that my perspective had changed.  In an instant I had gone from being a husband, father, and student without a true care in the world to being the victim of a terrible, pre-meditated attack.  My entire world changed.  Suddenly America was not a safe place anymore.  Just google "9/11 innocence" to see how many people felt stripped of the their safety and their innocence.

I don't mean to place myself in the same category as those who were affected more directly by those events, including those who were killed, those family and friends who were left behind to mourn, the first responders, the soldiers who went overseas to protect us, and so many others who cannot be named.  Nevertheless, 9/11 was an attack against America and all of it's people, and I believe that all of us felt it to some degree or another.

And while it was an attack against our people, it was more an attack against the principles of freedom that permeate who we are as Americans.  So great is the light of freedom that shines from Americans, and by extension America, that we are instantly the target of all of those in the world who live by the principles of darkness, including selfishness, anger, fear, and hate.  I believe in good and evil.  I believe that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us.  I believe we also have an enemy, even Satan, who hates us, and the light of freedom for which we stand, and will do everything he can to destroy us.  Because of that, I believe that the best way to defeat him, the best way to let him know that his attack upon us failed, is to not let the negative feelings we experienced that day rule our lives.  We should not allow ourselves to feel fear for what terrorists can do, but should put our trust in the greater power of God.

I remember that President Hinckley spoke in general conference just three weeks after 9/11.  It is still touching to read his words, and he taught us what is really important from a gospel perspective.  Here is the link:

http://lds.org/general-conference/2001/10/the-times-in-which-we-live?lang=eng

May we all always remember 9/11, and take from it renewed hope and faith, both in the innate goodness of people, in the light and freedom of America, and in the power of our Heavenly Father to heal all wounds.